Beginning Meditation

Meditation is the art of silencing the mind. When the mind is silent, concentration is increased and we experience inner peace in the midst of worldly turmoil. This elusive inner peace is what attracts so many people to meditation and is a quality everyone can benefit from.

Ways To Make Life Work For You

Guest Post by Gary Allsop

At times, life can feel like an uphill struggle and to be fair…it often is. We work the 9 till 5, we try to implement habits that promote positive changes and we keep our sanity with things we enjoy here and there. Sometimes though, it can feel like there simply aren’t enough hours in the day to get done what we want to achieve.

After all, there are many aspects of our lives we all want to work on, including:

• Health.
• Wealth.
• Relationships.
• Happiness.

All while fitting in a busy work schedule, making sure the bills are paid and trying to keep some sort of social life. Before you think you are on the wrong website, don’t worry. This is The Positivity Blog. Today we’re going to look at some simple yet effective fundamentals you can implement into your world so that life starts working for you.

These simple truths can often be ignored, and you might just find that you’ve been shutting out the life of your dreams, rather than positively promoting it.

Making Life Work for You

The following steps are here for you to question yourself and your current path, but they’re also here to show how simple changes in your daily life can affect the overall picture.

“How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.”
Annie Dillard

1. Be Honest with Yourself and Others

Before you dismiss this as some ‘obvious advice’, let me explain. There’s one cold, hard truth I want to share with you today: if you are living the dreams of someone else, life is always going to be a struggle. What I mean by that is despite your religious views or upbringing, if you are on the path to achieve goals for others, then you will never find ease or fulfilment in your life.

Sometimes, parents and peers can push us into careers that they think are best for us or lifestyles that we simple don’t enjoy but we follow them because it is what they want from us. Your parents brought you into this world and your friends are there to support you, but there are certain things they don’t have control over - your career choices and ambitions. Ask yourself right now: “Am I really on the path I want to be on, or am I doing it for someone else?” Only you can know the answer, and only you can change the outcome.

If you realise you aren’t on the path you want to be on, build the courage to speak out about it. After all, this is your life, this is all we have. Make the most of it.

2. Work Smarter, Get Luckier

One of my favourite sayings goes something along the lines of “the harder I work, the luckier I get”. What this means is that more opportunities tend to arise when you start getting more done. There are other ways to get more done though, and that involves working smarter, rather than working harder.

Some good tips to work smarter include:

• Realising areas where you are wasting time. This might be things like procrastinating or it might be spending too much time being social with friends instead of keeping focused on your to do list. Of course, getting out now and then isn’t a bad thing.
• Getting up earlier. Not only does waking up in the earlier give you more time to work on the things you need to, but it’s also a very productive time of day. Mornings are often free of distractions that you are likely to get working at other hours.
• Outsourcing what you can. For some people, outsourcing is seen as a waste of money when they could do something themselves. However, with some research about cost and results, you will find that it’s possible to outsource a lot of your work and still achieve great, if not better results.

These simple tips should work to give you more hours in the day so you can focus more on the likes of wealth creation, health and happiness. Ideally, your ‘work’ is towards your life dreams, so happiness is just part of the process.

3. Create Lasting Relationships

I’m sure you’ve heard the old saying “It’s not what you know but who you know”, well…it’s as relevant in 2009 as it ever was, especially in the current economy. Due to relationships I’ve created in the last year I’ve been able to:

• Save money by getting free drinks and entry in almost all nightclubs that I visit.
• Get a job half way across the world, doing what I love.
• Save money on the likes of accommodation and car rentals.
• Raise my overall ’social profile’ and become happier in the process.

I’ve wrote a guide on ‘How to Make Friends‘ but I’ll summarise the main points here. Realise that friends are abundant, there are literally billions of people out there you can connect with; therefore, don’t change for anyone. People want to see the real you, they don’t want you to change. Authenticity and honesty go a long way, at least to the people that will matter.

4. Open your Mind to the Possibilities

I did say that it’s possible you may be shutting out your dreams in your life and you may not even realise it. If you didn’t need money and could do anything in the world, what would it be? If you aren’t on the path to doing that, you’re in the wrong park.

Seriously, whatever you can visualise you can create. Our world contains college drop-outs who have started billion dollar companies, 3ft tall, 26 year old men dating multiple beautiful women, humans landing on the moon and NASA sending robots to Mars.

There are plenty of people out there who will be happy to tell you that you can’t achieve things, you don’t need to tell yourself as well.

Stick to your honest path, realise it is possible, create great relationships along the way and work smarter in the process. And you know what? Life will start to work for you, always.

The Problem - The Solution - The Process

THE PROBLEM

We all want to change but it seems the most difficult thing in the world. Why is that? Let me tell you of some research:

A psychologist wanted to carry out some tests on affecting peoples perception. He gave one group of volunteers a hot cup of coffee to hold in their hands and gave another group a cold cup of coffee to hold. He then asked the volunteers to rate a photograph of someone - did they think he was kind, warm, friendly etc. The volunteers that had been holding the hot cup of coffee gave SIGNIFICANTLY higher marks than those who had been holding the cold cup.

How did this happen? The volunteers did not even drink the coffee yet felt more positive towards the photograph! There's more....

A colleague noticed that when her clients left a therapy session, they were smiling. Initially she thought it was the effectiveness of the session but then she noticed that her eight year old son had drawn a small smiley face near the door handle.............

What was happening in these two cases (and there are thousands of examples!)? We are all affected by unconscious triggers that we are not consciously aware of!

Habits rule our lives, they are what make us say 'thank you' automatically when we are given something. It is working at the unconscious level that often determines our behaviour. These habits or unconscious processes are reinforced throughout our lives. Advertising is a prime example. Think of a chocolate ad, how it is filled with beautiful images, creaminess, pleasant music, attractive women in a state of bliss, maybe something forbidden or slightly naughty - all these building unconscious desires to get you to buy the brand - positive associations with eating chocolate. AND THEY WORK!

Poor You! You are a victim of unconscious desires that you have no control over. That's why so many regimes and diet fads simply do not work because they are not getting at the root of the problem.

But don't worry - you have already taken the first step in changing the way you behave. Just being aware of the above HAS CHANGED YOUR LIFE!

THE SOLUTION

Unconscious desires are notoriously hard to get rid of by just working at the conscious level. I could give you a list of things to say in your mind when confronted with a bad eating habit but this would only be superficial. I could beat you with a stick every time you opened the fridge (aversion therapy) and this could stop you (and then you could sign up for my "fear of fridges" therapy). No, neither of these ways are effective or practical or even desirable. It is only by working at the unconscious level that true change comes about - permanent change!

What we have to do is to get past the conscious level to a deeper region of the mind and it is here we will initiate change. Change will come about in a positive way. And what is more it is a pleasurable experience. You will enjoy the process and change the way you behave.

THE PROCESS

The techniques used in this process begin with taking you to a deep relaxed state. You will go beyond the conscious level to the unconscious where you are amenable to suggestion. It is here that the real, lasting accomplishments are made. The more you listen the easier it will be to enter a deep relaxed state, you will go deeper and deeper until the conscious mind disappears. You will enter a calm, peaceful, meditative state and hear positive affirmations about your eating habits. These will become deeply engrained in your being. Once this has been achieved your unconscious mind will remember them and act on them in your waking life.

Stress Reilef with Hypnosis

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Stress relief in 3 easy steps with Hypnosis

February 8, 2009

Some stress is normal, but too much can be deadly. How can you tell when you’re are overwhelmed with stress? The easiest way is to listen to your emotions and body. All of us intuitively know when stress is getting out of control. The signs are obvious; irritability, insomnia , upset stomach etc. The key is to pay attention to the signs. Individually, our stress tolerance varies. So while I can’t tell you how much is too much stress for you, your body will.

What to do if stress is overwhelming you? Hypnosis is one of the easiest methods to get relief from the grind of daily stress and anxiety. For years I’ve practiced self hypnosis as a quick and effective way to find peace of mind. I’ve created a shortcut of sorts, which has worked well for me. Just follow these simple steps:

1) Find a quiet place to lie down for at least 30 minutes. I find it works much better to close your eyes and play soft music. If the music distracts you, turn it off. Make yourself comfortable and warm. Wear loose fitting clothes and take off your shoes.

2) Take 3 deep breaths and slowly exhale. Using your mind’s gentle inner voice begin telling yourself to relax.The subconscious will listen and actually start relaxing you. Start with your head and work downwards. Tell yourself that the muscles around your eyes and mouth are relaxing…. Work down to your neck, shoulders, arms, fingers, chest, groin, buttocks, legs and finally your toes. This should take around 5 minutes. Trust yourself, it works. You’ll begin to notice that you feel better.

3) In your mind’s eye imagine a staircase, elevator or escalator. Choose one that you like. If you can’t actually see them, don’t worry. Your subconscious will know. Imagine yourself at the top and slowly count down from 10 to 1, descending with each count. Take several seconds between counts. Tell yourself that for each count you will feel progressively more and more relaxed. Do this until you reach the bottom. If you feel like it, go down another level. I generally use 3 levels until I reach the bottom. The inner dialoge could sound something like this:

“As I go down, I feel more and more relaxed. I feel calmer. I am going deeper and deeper with each count.”

My personal method is to arrive at my own secret place. It’s a balcony overlooking the Pacific ocean. I can see a lighthouse and it’s peaceful and calm and the weather is perfect. There is a comfy chair in which I sit and just relax. Your secret place could be anything or anywhere. It can be a cloud gently floating in the sky. Or your backyard as you enjoy swaying in your hammock. Whatever image, place or circumstance feels calming to you, use it. Be creative. And don’t worry if you actually can’t see it in your mind’s eye. Simply thinking of it will work.

As you relax in your special place, you can tell yourself that you are calm. Always use positive statements such as “I am relaxed.” Don’t use negative sentences, such as “I won’t be stressed out anymore”. The subconscious does not respond to negative statements

Take a little time and let your mind wander. You can imagine yourself walking along the shore and feel the warm sand between your toes. Or see yourself in a hammock on a calm summer day. It’s up to you. Stay there for awhile and let the peaceful feelings flow over you. When you’re ready to come back, tell yourself that you will slowly count backward from 5 and with each count you will feel refreshed, calm and alert. At the count of 1 you will awake feeling wonderful. Now try it!

Don’t fret if you don’t think it’s working, or if you don’t feel you’re going under. If you believe and trust the process to work, it will. It may take several tries, but soon you will begin to notice a pattern and a special feeling come over you during the procedure. Your body and mind will feel the tension ease and you will know that you are relaxing. As you become better, you can even create shortcuts and cues that will send you under almost immediately.

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Self-Hypnosis Works!!!!! More to come in further posts.

Key To Happiness

Key To Happiness

1. Something to Do. How many times have we felt unhappy with life because we simply had too much idle time? I know it has happened in my own life. When I get bored, I get down, and I only snap out of it when I start to get busy again. The thing is, we have to recognize this pattern and stay busy to keep our mood elevated. Find a hobby. Volunteer your free time. Learn to cook. Coach youth sports. There are endless possibilities for “something to do” if we take the time to look.
2. Something to Love. Friends and family are such an important element to our ultimate happiness. . If you are single, you may have a best friend that always knows just how to pick you up, or make you laugh when you want to cry. Pets can even be an incredible source of companionship, there to greet you at the end of a long day. I’ve had pets most of my life and marvel at their willingness to love us unconditionally.
3. Something to Hope For. Everyone should have something to hope for. Something that drives them towards a goal. It’s been said that if you aim for nothing, you’ll hit it every time. Have something to aim for; a dream that you hold close and never let completely out of sight. When people lose hope they get complacent, and complacency often leads to a poor attitude. This self-perpetuating cycle of negativity can lead to serious depression, and ultimately harm cherished relationships. I know, I’ve been in a rut myself and I lost sight of the dreams I once held close. But all hope is never lost, you just may have to work a little harder temporarily to catch up and see those dreams around the next corner again.

“The only difference in a rut and a grave is six feet.” If you find yourself in a rut, stop digging. Start moving in the direction of your dreams and things will begin to improve. If your goal is debt freedom, stop charging to your credit cards and start paying all you can pay on outstanding debts. Do not be overwhelmed by the distance to the finish line. If your goal is to lose weight, do not focus on how far you are from your goal weight. Instead, take it one day, one meal, one bite, one workout at a time and begin to move in the direction of your dreams.

The bottom line is we are responsible for our own happiness. Government programs, promises from elected officials, and pats on the back from bosses may offer temporary mood boosts, but ultimately happiness is a self-induced state of mind. Be responsible for your own happiness.